Without Her
by rockmysocks456
Summary: *SPOILER FROM BREAK POINT* Harvey has a bit of an emotional outburst concerning losing Donna. Basically flips out on Hardman. Suckish summary, I know, just READ AND REVIEW.
1. Chapter 1

*_Kind of has a spoiler from **Break Point** if you didn't see it so... **READ AND** **REVIEW.**_

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Harvey Specter was not an emotional man. He was not sentimental, he wasn't compassionate, and he wasn't in any way comfortable with letting himself express the emotions he _did_ possess.

Losing Donna had to be the worst thing that could've happened to him right now. She was what kept him going when nothing else would. And right now? He was slipping, and Donna wasn't there to catch him.

Harvey was sitting in his office, staring out his window. He knew he should be getting some work done if he was going to stay late at the office but he couldn't.

A sharp knock came on the door.

"Harvey?"

Harvey turned his head. Daniel Hardman. _Prick_. What did this asshole want now?

Hardman took Harvey's curt nod as his cue to come in.

"Harvey, I know it must be difficult to get things back in order again after losing your secretary. But this does open up an opportunity to hire a new-"

"Are you a fucking moron?"

Hardman looked taken aback. Surprise couldn't even begin to describe the expression on his face.

_For God's sakes, he honestly thinks I'm pissed off that I have to get a new secretary?_

"Excuse me?" Hardman said weakly.

Harvey stood up from his desk, pushing in his chair violently.

"You really think I'm upset because I have to find a new _secretary?_"

Hardman shifted, opening his mouth to speak but closing it again finding he was lost for words.

"Let me tell you something. When I first hired Donna, it wasn't because I _needed_ a secretary. Jessica said I had to hire somebody and Donna was the best one for the job." Harvey circled around his desk to face Hardman directly, "But I didn't keep her around just because she was good at- GREAT at what she did."

Tears came to Harvey's eyes but the fury never left them.

"She was my best friend."

"I didn't- I-" Hardman stammered.

"Get the hell out of my office. And don't you dare say one more goddamn thing about Donna Paulsen. She was the center of my fucking world, the only thing stable in my life was her!"

Hardman hesitated and then hurried out into the hallway without another word.

Harvey sat back down at his desk. He gripped his neat, slicked back hair with his fingers and bowed his head. All he could think was, _how am I gonna do this without her?_


	2. Chapter 2

_* I know I said it would be a one-shot but... Here's chapter 2! And there'll be a 3! **READ AND REVIEW** for wuss Harvey!_

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Harvey sat alone in his apartment. He was never sure what to do when he was home. Work was his whole life and aside from attending "events" and casual sex with random girls from parties and dates, he had no homelife. He didn't have a TV show he watched every week. He didn't have any books he was reading. He didn't even have to clean, he had a housekeeper that came in every week to take care of that. But now that he was home and unable to sleep, he was lost.

He tilted his glass of scotch back and forth, watching the ice slide from side to side. _Was this really all his life was?_ He massaged the bridge of his nose where all the tension of the day had built up.

His phone rang. It was Jessica.

"Hey, Jessica."

"Don't 'hey, Jessica' me, did you really curse out _Daniel Hardman_ and then throw him out of your office?"

"Yes. That would be correct."

There was a short pause before Jessica exploded, "What the hell were you thinking? We're dealing with a fraud suit, people are getting fired and you decide to engage in a shouting match with one of your bosses?"

"First of all, it wasn't much of a match, _I_ did all the shouting. Second, Hardman isn't my boss. He's an asshole."

"HARVEY. I know losing Donna was hard for you but you _have_ to focus here! We've got shit to deal with and I can't have you freaking out on every person that mentions her!"

"I'm _fine_, Jessica. I can find a new-"

"Don't bullshit me, Harvey. Hardman told me what you said. You miss her, that's fine, but I can't keep defending you."

Harvey rubbed his eyes wearily and said, "Alright, fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Harvey hung up and sat there, staring at the opposing wall. He was so full of rage he couldn't control himself anymore. He hurled the half-filled glass of scotch at the wall.

"GODDAMMNIT."

It smashed all over the floor. _Fuck, I'm gonna have to clean that up_.

Harvey crossed the room, pumping full of adrenalin, suppressed rage overcoming him. He knelt down next to the mess and began scraping the fragments of glass together. He did it so hurridly his foot slipped and the heel of his hand came down hard on a bit of glass.

"FUCK!"

He brushed the piece of glass off his injured hand and held it tight. He stood up and examined the extent of the damage. It was pretty deep but probably wouldn't need stitches. It was bleeding alot though. He staggered backwards and collapsed onto the couch. He took out his phone again and hit the first person on his speed dial.

"Harvey?"

Donna. Her voice was soft, broken as if she'd been crying but was trying to hide it.

"Donna. I know you're not my assistant any more but..." Harvey looked down at his wound, and he felt the color drain from his face, "I need assistance."

Harvey had never been able to handle blood. Especially his own. He felt himself starting to pass out.

"I- Okay. I'll be over in a minute."

Harvey hung up and tried to take deep breaths. _I am such a bitch_. He tried hard not to pass out. Very hard. But... Shit, that was alot of blood... Harvey's eyelids fluttered dangerously. He fell sideways onto the couch in a dead faint.


	3. Chapter 3

* _Sorry in advance for emotional Harvey and Donna, hoping the quick-update will make up for it! **READ AND** REVIEW!_

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_Knock, knock, knock._ _Pause. Knock, knock, knock._ _Pause._

"Harvey?"

Harvey was stirred from his unconscious daze and he stumbled towards the door, slowly regaining his awareness.

He opened the door and found Donna standing there.

"Hey, Donna."

"Harvey... You look horrible, did you just pass out?"

"What... No... I wouldn't..."

"Oh my god, you did!" Donna smirked, entering the apartment, "You are such a little bitch."

Harvey smiled, some of the color returning to his face, "Hey, this is a fairly substantial wound I was dealing with here."

Donna took Harvey's injured hand and examined it. She guided him to the couch and went immediately into the kitchen to look for something to wrap it with.

"How'd you manage that, genius?" She asked, rummaging through a drawer.

"I cut it on the glass I broke."

Donna returned with a box of band-aids. They were standard size so she took out four and began securing them to Harvey's hand. Her eyes were red from crying but she was determined not to let Harvey know.

"Now you know why I was crying..." Harvey began and stopped to shake his head at Donna.

Donna had tilted her head at him with a smirk.

"_Figuratively_. Now why were _you_?"

Donna stood up, crossing the room so she wouldn't have to face him.

"I wasn't. I'm a big girl, I can handle being fired."

"Donna..."

"I'm fine! Now, if you'll excuse I have better things to do with my Thursday night, I recorded some episodes of Lost I have to attend to-"

Harvey caught her by her arm as she headed for the door.

"Donna-"

"What?" Donna turned around, tears in her eyes that she wouldn't let fall.

Harvey released her gently and said in his deep, level voice, "I'm... sorry."

Donna wiped her eyes with her thumb and asked with a faked smile, "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry Jessica fired you."

Donna opened her mouth to speak, hopefully but Harvey cut her off.

"Not that I wouldn't have just the same."

"Oh, thanks, Harvey. I appreciate that." Donna started for the door again.

"Not that I would have wanted to. I _never_ wanted to lose you, Donna."

Donna turned around.

"What-"

"You heard me." Harvey said.

He walked up to her and stood, facing her, "I never wanted to lose you. If I'd had the choice..." He searched for words, trying to sound as unemotional as possible but still getting his point across, "I'd never have to let you go."

_Nice one, Harvey, you sounded like a complete pussy_.

A tear fell from Donna's eye and she stepped forward boldly. She wrapped her arms around Harvey's neck and kissed him.

Harvey, caught off guard, stood frozen for half a second before he responded by kissing her back and holding her lower back gently.

Donna pulled back slowly and looked met Harvey's eyes.

"I never wanted to lose you either."


End file.
